3.5 stars rounded to four. I highly recommend this to all Christian moms!
I really liked the practical advice, the personal stories, and the caring tone of the author. I have been really convicted lately about my own sins and plain old shortcomings as a mother, and this book helped me to think of manageable steps to improve 🙂 There were moments reading this book where I wanted to smack myself in the head with the obviousness of things I’d been somehow totally missing.
I love her focus on our own attitudes and our own need for grace before we can deal with the challenges of what our kids do. It’s true and obvious, but putting it into practice can be a challenge.
She really walks the line well of reminding us what is in our control WITHOUT falling to the common modern idea that kids are a blank slate and anything bad they do must be our fault. No. Kids inherit original sin. They tend towards bad behaviour and it is our job to teach them to be good, because it does not come naturally to fallen man!
Hm, that may be another post eventually..
It does focus on a larger family (I would love a bigger family but right now I only have 2 kids) but it’s still really applicable to families of various sizes.
Now, a tangent. Somehow, what I intended to be a few paragraphs of review became a blog post. It’s my blog, so I can do that!
Other reviewers pointed out that the author kind of seemed to emphasize how much harder it is with more kids, in tone that says “oh parenting is only hard for me and my big family!” I actually disagree the author intended to say that small families are easy or anything like that, but I could see how it could come off that way if you’re waiting to hear it.
It’s easy to feel a little prickled by comparisons, especially when you have a small family, but a child or children who are just very high needs.
I come from a family of 3 girls. My mom agrees: my one boy is more work to corral than all three of us were, even in the little years.
That’s all to say I think that it’s easy to compare ourselves based on how many kids we have, what their genders are, etc, when in reality it’s more like this: BEING A MOM IS A CHALLENGE FOR VIRTUALLY EVERYONE, whether you have one child or ten, and you’re allowed to need help or advice even if you only have one kid.
I “compare” with my friends.
I’m comparing in this review.
I’m not saying we can’t “compare notes”.
But I’m comparing MY child with MYSELF (and my sisters I suppose) as a child. I’m not saying “look, my mom had it harder because she had 3 girls” or “I had it harder because one boy is harder than three girls”.
It depends on who the kids are as individuals! And that’s okay!
I also think we need to be careful with comparisons. I know I’m sometimes just looking to excuse my own sins. I’m sure we’ve all been there – it always seems like the end of the world in the thick of chaos (The author’s approach to handling those really tough moments is excellent, btw).
But other times I think our comparison may come from a need to hear a friend simply encourage us rather than trying to “fix” us. Advice to adjust our attitudes is well and good – Lord knows I need it – but there’s a time for it.
My best friend has a 2 year old girl, and I think she has it harder than I do in a lot of ways, because I remember those years! Sometimes when we talk about a rough day we both had, I just want her to know “I get it. You’re doing great”.
It does not take away from my hard day and need for grace because hers was harder! Comparison truly can be the thief of joy.
I also found one comment the author made that “adding one child adds exponential work rather than doubling it” interesting. Now, the author has twins, so maybe she was speaking specifically about twins. In that case, I agree with her.
But in general, in our world of small families, I have to say I kind of disagree.
I think people get scared off because they see how hard one or two kids are and think that it will be exponentially harder with more.
I have a large (5 year) gap between my kids, and the years of parenting my extremely high energy now 6 year old boy as an only child have been WAY harder than life is now with a 6 year old and a 9 month old.
Being your child’s only playmate can be so, so tiring. For me personally I find the expectation of being “on” allllll the time MUCH harder than the nuts and bolts of basic care.
It could just be me, but I can say genuinely that I’d rather change multiple diapers than go back to being my child’s sole companion (I’m sure homeschooling magnifies this, lol).
It’s crazy seeing how much my baby and my big boy interact. Ever since my baby began to crawl, they actually play! He can keep an eye on her! It’s awesome!
Again, this is just my experience, and who knows what will happen when Lord willing we have more. But I am not scared about it.
I didn’t like how short this book was. If it was a more normal length it would have been a full four star read for me. As it is, I’m glad I read it through my existing Kindle Unlimited membership. 🙂
You can get it HERE on Amazon. As an Amazon affiliate, I earn from qualifying purchases. =)
